Wednesday, September 2, 2009

anonymous

anyone ever wish their blog was anonymous...
today is a first for me...
i have stuff on my mind...
i feel like i can't write about it on here...
or anywhere...
i'll just try to keep it bottled up inside.

i don't like thinking or feeling
that people will judge me.
i think that's why my blog seems
peachy, all.the.time.

really, i am a very happy person!
i DO love my life!
i DO have an amazing man to spend my life with...
i DO have a fabulous family....
i DO have besties that are irreplaceable...

i read a lot of peoples'
blogs and it seems like
everyone leads a perfect life...
drama free...
no issues at work...
no issues at home...
perfect relationships...
perfect families...
perfect.lives...
whether it's that way or not...
that is your business.

i love reading blogs because
i can relate to so many of you!
i love reading about your thoughts, your lives,
everything!!
i love how pretty much every.single.person
that i follow has a positive attitude!
i LOVE that!
glass is always half full!
you ladies are all awesome!
it makes me happy that
there are so many truly wonderful happy people!
"your smile makes me smile" :)
so true!

anyway,
without going into details...
someone really close to me lied to me.
it was a small lie...
yet still a lie.
i don't understand why.
there have been skeletons in the past
that have come out through the years
with this person and i just
wonder, will it ever stop.
will things just be normal?
whatever normal is....

just me doing some more pondering...
all is good in the hood! :)

68 comments:

Erin said...

I totally understand what you mean. Sometime you really want to just spill everything but you know deep down if they found that you aired dirty laundry they would freak or that other peopl out there wouldn't understand where your comming from and may make that clea. I hate that. There are so many things I have to say/rant about/clear my mind but I get nurvose doing it on here.

Suzanne said...

Oh Muffin! I totally agree. I have plenty of times that I just want to vent about everything (lots of work stuff), but don't want to deal with that if it gets found. I have had multiple friendships ruined over silly stupid lies. I hope you feel better. Vent away sister!
Also, just realized that the adorable boy in your pictures is your nephew, not your son. He is still adorable! I love reading your blog. It's so cute! Have a good day!

carrie1 said...

Sister please.. we all have our issues. I love my family, but last night I told my mom to F*%# off! (I know not nice, and I normally wouldn't talk to her this way, but she really made me mad.)

And my best friend stood me up for dinner AGAIN last Sunday and I just text her last night because I hadnt heard from her, and she said I thought you were mad at me. Ummm... yeah I was this was like the 5th time, but you didn't have to go MIA on me!

See we aren't all perfect as our little blogs make us out to be.... just be you! =)

Sole Matters said...

hey hon! ive always gone by the motto - if they will lie about something small, they will lie about something big.

also, i know you're fairly new to my blog..but if you check out any of the MM posts, some of those arent all happy-go-lucky. ;)

KLaw said...

I'm sorry you're having a bad day. I know what you mean about not feeling comfortable sharing the bad with the good. its a tough line to walk. I hope things get better!

Brown Girl said...

People that lie bug me. Seriously, just tell the truth from the get go and we won't have problems, ya know? I have thought many times about making my blog private...many times, but I would miss everyone...eh, what are you going to do? Hope your day goes well!

PaigeR530 said...

I would absolutely love it if people that I knew in person wouldn't read my blog so that I COULD speak freely. I know exactly what you mean! It's hard to share work troubles and friend troubles for fear of getting "called out" I guess. I hope your day gets better!

Adorably Distracted... said...

aww I know what you mean!! it was such a huge decision for me to become public! if you feel like letting it all out feel free to email me!! I won't tell anyone ... pinky promise!!

Sending hugs!! hope you feel better later!

Jennifer said...

I can assure you my dear that no person has that peachy life that is portrayed on their blog. I have an amazing life, but I have some pretty crappy things that happen to me. Some I choose to blog about (infertility) and others I choose to keep private (really personal stuff). I'm really glad you posted this because I've been thinking lately that I don't want to be seen as a girl that has it all together. I want to be seen as a girl who is imperfect and is trying to live a Godly life. I'm sorry you are going through this. I have too recently, but I've chosen not to blog about because this person stalks my blog. :) Wonderful world of technology!

Kaitlin said...

I wish mine was anonymous sometimes. I rarely post anything negative going on in my life just because it makes me feel uncomfortable.

Hope you feel better.

bananas. said...

i try to have a happy outlook on life but we all have our moments. hello i was a bitch on monday!!! that's so not cool. lol.

i've lived a non perfect life but it's from those imperfections that i've learned to grow and be the person that i am. i'm sorry your friend lied to you. i've had many "friends" lie to me. it was sad and unfortunate then but it made me see that person more clearly and now we are not friends. i'm okay with that. as we get older, you realize that having a lot of friends is not as important as having a small number of really good friends...friends you can trust.

keep your head up lady. xoxo.

EmFabulousFunshine said...

nobody is perfect, we just don't put it all on blogs. isn't it sad how those closest to us manage to disappoint us the most. i hope things get better for you :)

Katie said...

agreed! Sometimes I want to write about things between Josh and I, but I don't because he reads my blog!

Kristin said...

Sometimes those small lies are the worst ones. If they can't tell you the little things, what else are they hiding. Thinking about you today! xoxo

Rachel said...

I know what you mean. I'v been in the same situation, and it kind of turns everything upside down in term of that person. Anyways, I know how you feel and I hope that's the end of it for you, with the lies.

Mallory said...

I feel the same exact way! Like, can all these people really be this happy?! I always feel like my relationships/family/work/and school are so hard, and then you see these people who are peachy keen! How did they get so lucky? And what do i need to do to get what they have?? And then reality sets in, and i realize how blessed i am, and that other blogger's lives aren't perfect, they just choose to focus on the good. I hope you're feeling better! You're not alone out there! Everyone of us has good days and bad, some just choose not to share the bad. I however, share the bad. Makes me feel better, and more human! :) Here's hoping you have a much better day! <333

♥Aubrey said...

Sorry that someone fibbed to you. Even the smallest of lies can be HUGE!!! Anonymous blogs...OOOooo that would be fun. Write about anything and everything under the sun. Intrigued i am :) Things from the outside always look better than the inside. We all have our issues and that's why we're human. For if life were perfect, what would we have to fuss about. I kind of like a little drama.

Whitney said...

Hey girl! I know what you mean :o) Sometimes I write a post and then delete it because I don't want someone to accidently find it...

But know if you ever need anything, to vent and what not, you can e-mail me :) I would love to chat with you about anything- judge free! PROMISE!

I hope things get better, sweetie! xo

the future mrs Hinz said...

oh girl i feel ya! there are TONS of things i would love to discuss on here - but i know i "shouldnt" bc both matt and my grandparents, aunts, moms, sisters ALL read it and there are just certain things that is it totally FINE if strangers know - but NOT if your family knows. funny how things like that work isnt it? well hang in there. it sucks when people you feel close to can betray you - but it happens. be thankful (which i know you are) for what you have and thats all you can really do! i love your blog - keep on posting :)

Lauren Kelly said...

Annie-

Just want to remind you of one thing, when you're reading other people's blogs and even mind, just remember that our lives are not perfect by any means! Love ya, my friend!!

♥Kim said...

Ah thinks shoog! Hugs~

You see how I had to let it out on my blog last week, right! We're not all happy campers, sometimes you just got to let it go!

Good luck with whatever issues your having w/ that certian someone! Praying &hearts

Jordan said...

I feel that exact same way! There's somethings going on in my life that I would love to write about to get it off my chest but I feel like I can't. Just know that if you want someone to listen feel free to e-mail me!

jordan_denae_08@hotmail.com = )

Summer @ B is for Brown said...

I am so sorry someone lied to you. That is never fun to have to deal with. :(

I do regret giving my blog address to everyone. I thought it would be about us and our babies and since then, it has turned into my outlet and well, I cannot LET IT OUT!

Shanna said...

Aw girlie I hope ya'll get things worked out! I know it sucks to feel like somone you put a lot of trust in lied to you even if it is a small lie. A lie is a lie!

Miss HoneyDew said...

Girl we all have drama! I am with you, a lie is a lie. I use my blog as my diary. I do not censor it and if people don't like it they don't have to read. Life isn't always butterflies and puppy dogs, we all have our bad days.

xoxo

Lucy Marie said...

I have definitely been wishing my blog was anon lately. I have so many things I want to talk about that I can't because I never know who is reading it that knows me in my real life. You are not alone. I have to be pretty filtered sometimes, I sure don't have it all together. We've all got those issues ... if you ever want to share something that you can't because of privacy issues, feel free to email me or anything.

Dionne said...

I know how you feel! So many people say they come to my blog because it's a happy place, so I find it hard to talk about difficulties and sadness on there. But I guess now that I read your post, I see I am not the only one who has that dilemma!

Lying is such poison. I am sorry that a friend lied to you!

Christa said...

I know what you mean! I always try to be positive on my blog...but sometimes I just need to say what's on my mind!

I am sorry your friend lied too you...I hope you get everything worked out! Hope your day gets better for you!

Katie said...

I feel that way a lot! Especially about Spencer's dad. I never write about him and that's because his family found out I have this blog. And since they know I know and I know they know, it would be weird for me to ever say anything bad about him. Since I don't have anything nice to say about him, I don't anything. Which is annoying because I feel like I'm censoring myself. I hope everything works out with your friend.

I lived in Rochester when I was in elementary school, we moved there because my dad is a doctor and he got a job at Mayo. I don't know if I'd mentioned it to you before. I wrote about it awhile ago. I forget things all the time, too :)

kimber doll said...

I totally know what you mean with this post!!
I just found something out the other day, and it is SO inspiring, but I can't write about it .. for the same reasons that you said .. fear of people judging me, etc. I think most blogs are filtered .. mostly only the good stuff is documented, unless it's an anonymous blog.... You're not alone at all x0x0

Nikki Cogg said...

I TOTALLY understand!! I have a few things going on right now that I'm just dying to get people's opinions about, but I can't write my real thoughts because someone might read it. I'd love to go on and on about how my MIL makes my life hell because she can't let go and I'd love to ask how to deal with it, but my SIL reads the blog, so if I want to continue to have a pleasant relationship with all of them, I have to keep my mouth shut. So bright, happy, and cheery I shall remain. I hope things work out with you and the person who lied to you :(

brittany said...

ummmm have you read my blog?! sometimes I feel like all I do is complain and rant and rave!! I totally feel you but honestly I would rather read the blogs of people who admit their flaws and thrive in a life that is less than perfect.

Love keeping up with you on here! Hang in there and remember everything happens for a reason :) xoxo.

Annie said...

NO ONE leads a perfect life...I am sorry that you are having issues with someone :(....I dont understand liers either...how frustrating!!

Mrs EyeCanSee said...

I often wish I was anonymous on my blog. Maybe not completely...but sometimes I regret giving my friends and family the web address....I always feel like I need to watch what I say. Everyone has down days, I try to post mine from time to time so people know I'm a real person..not just some happy go lucky always happy robot.

Hope you can work things out with your friend. Lies suck!

Katie said...

On a very serious note...I really try to keep my blog very open and honest (which is why I wrote openly about the miscarriage). I can't hide my feelings or emotions that easily. It is VERY hard for me to keep it all in and so I've made a point to be the REAL me on my blog. You can do so without feeling judged..PLEASE DO!!

xoxo

Charis said...

Ugh lies are horrible! We've all had it happen! I'm so sorry! And don't worry, it's your blog, you can post whatever the heck you want! All you reader will still love you :)

Just Add Walter said...

ugh, sorry about your friend... I also wish my blog was a secret sometimes... I've even thought about creating an additional one that is annonymous!

drollgirl said...

i hear ya! a small lie isn't so good, but it isn't great either.

and, like you, i wish i could put everything on the blog, but it just isn't possible or right for everything that is on my mind. wah. but blogging still helps a LOT.

and sometimes it drives me fucking BONKERS how people act like their lives are perfect on blogs. that gets me feeling really insecure and makes me feel like i am doing everything wrong.

bah. i am sorry for writing so much and babbling on and on. clearly i have a lot of issues lately that i am having trouble coping with. wah.

and best of luck to you with the friend. i wonder if you will confront him or her? hmmm.

Jorden and Kristin said...

i'm totally with you on the anonymous thing! there are some days i would love to just let the world have it! i hope the lie gets resolved...i hate finding out someone close to me has lied...no matter the size... :( If you need to talk feel free to email me!

d.a.r. said...

Lying is the one thing that I absolutely cannot and will not tolerate, I am so sorry you are going through that!

And don't worry, I don't always fart rainbows :)

Anne said...

Oh.My.Gosh. I feel that way ALL the time. I fall into the trap of looking at other people's lives via blogland and wondering if it's really as perfect as it seems.
It's not. I know it's not. Mine's not...AT ALL! SO much has happened in my life in recent months that I don't blog about because I feel like it would be airing out my dirty laundry. I think it might be theraputic for me, but who might it offend in the process?
Life is messy MOST of the time...really messy.
I'm praying for you! Really, I am.

Crazy Shenanigans said...

I know how you feel. Sometimes I feel like I can't write things on my own blog because anyone can read it. I'm sorry that you had someone lie to you. AND no matter how small the lie....it's still a lie.

Elizabeth Marie said...

LOVER!
First of all, you aren't talking about my blog...definitely have my BITCHBOARD DAYS!!!! That I sometimes regret but le life!

I just want to say that we'll love you no matter if you're happy happy or sad or mad or whatever! But I know it can be hard to share something, especially if "real life" peeps are reading...

But I love and adore you! And I'm here if you ever need to talk. And by love and adore I mean totally obsessed...ya know...the usual.

Brittany Ann said...

I'm in a similar situation right now, in fact. I have something I wish I could blog about, but I truly feel I can't do so without anonymity. You're not alone, dear friend!
And don't ever think we're all living perfect lives. I know it seems like that sometimes. I feel like that about all of you dear friends, too. But I know my life isn't like that, I bet no one's really is;)

siovhan said...

I feel this way a lot. A lot a lot.
There are things I want to screa or rant or get angry about. But I can't because it's public and people would/can see it.

I hope you feel better and that things get better. I'm sorry life is crummy right now. That's hard. ((Hugs!!))

brooke said...

LADY!!!! so many use their blog for an escape from reality...i know most of the time i DO!!! but i have fallen for each and every one of you ladies...hard!!! if you ever need an ear...i know you have 3D besties...but lady i would be here for you!!!! love love love you!!!!

Maryellen said...

Aw, Annie I feel so badly for you. All lies even the small ones are hard to understand.

Maybe we should all blog about what's really on our minds then we'd all see that everyone feels certain ways sometimes. Nobody's lives are perfect.

I hope your situation gets better soon.

Ian & Jess said...

You're totally right - I never see any "Sad" things on blogs its always cheerful. I would like to read more "real" stuff as well. Thanks for the real blog :)

Molly said...

I think it is great that you would write this. I think I (along with lots of other bloggers) tend to just write the good stuff. I don't want to write the bad for fear that I will say too much or make things worse.
No one can tell you exactly what to do, but you should go with your gut instinct. We all have issues. Some people are just brave enough to write about it. You inspire me!

Heather Bug said...

YES, I have wished my blog was anonymous at times. :) I used to have a blog that I could write private posts on and that helped. Oh, I can so understand your pain of someone close to you lying to you. It hurts deeply and I'm so sorry you're having to deal with that. Lies destroy so easily because when someone lies, you just never know when or if they're lying again...it's so painful not to be able to trust someone you love. I'm so sorry and I'll be praying for you.

Jules said...

Oh my gosh, you just said the way I feel some days. I agree that there are many times I just want to vent or talk about something that is bugging me on my blog. I feel like I might be judged and I also think that too many people in my daily life know about my blog (big mistake on my part).

Back to you; I'm so sorry that you have been lied to. I've been there and totally know the feeling. It hurts and makes you wonder if you can trust that person again. I used to forgive so easily, but my feelings were hurt and I was burned in the past. I am so careful with people now, especially if I don't know them that well. I hope that tomorrow is a better day and that you take care :)

Love Lace said...

I totally agree with you! I'm having one of those days today! Keep your head up...This too shall pass!

Jenny.Lee said...

Everybody has their days but I'm like you I don't always feel I can vent certain things on my blog. I hope everything works out with your friend.

WhisperingWriter said...

Oh no, I hate when people lie. I really hope things will be okay.

Jax said...

OMG! I so agree. You have no idea how many times I jsut want to go off about something! But then I think "Crap, I think my coworkers have this..." or "I know my boyf reads this.." etc.. I mean. it's cool and all. But I agree.. I often wonder if I come across TOO giddy...haha.. I love my life, like you said, but ya know.. it wouldnt be NORMAL if I didnt have a crappy day once in a while.

Anyway, sorry you are dealing with someone lying. That's the worst. I hate that. *sigh* Best thoughts your way from this end of the blog world. Sending hugs.

wife.mom.nurse said...

I am so sorry you are going through this...painful.

I know it seems like everyone is perfect in this bloggy land of ours (The christian women's blogs we both enjoy). I don't know that it is about fakeness. (is that a word?) I have been to negative bloggy land and that one is pretty frustrating.

I try to have a balance. But, I don't really think I achieve it sometimes. I think I avoid writing that bad stuff and avoid being too negative on my blog.

Yep, the more I think about it, balance is a good word. We should all work to be more balanced, not phony perfect and not horribly negative.

Just thinking out loud on your comment...yes, you really bring up a good point here.

Again, I am sorry you are hurting. I am glad you said something about it.

Take care of you.

~Julie

Alicia said...

oh honey!! i'm sorry you had a rough time! that's so tough when someone close to you lies...trust is so fragile...but i hope that you're feeling better!! keep that pretty head up girl!! and yes, there are SO many times where i wish i could just write without all the backlash that would ensue....

Jon and Steph said...

I'm so sorry you were lied to! I think that is one of the worst feelings!! I know how you feel about wanting to pour your heart out to the blog world, I feel the same sometimes. Just know everyone has bad days, no ones life is perfect!! I hope things get resolved with this friend. And if not, maybe it's for the best. Sometimes it's hard to trust once the trust in your friendship has been broken so many times.

Lindsey said...

Aww friend! I have def felt this way. HUGS to you!

The Rest is Still Unwritten said...

Oh goodness...read my blog today. I think there is something in the air.

Hey, I changed my website address so be sure to update it! www.unwritten322.blogspot.com

Rachel H. said...

I have felt this way many times...and it really sucks!

Marian said...

Lovely Lady...I think we all have a rough days. Hell, work was eating me alive for a few weeks and I just wanted to crawl under my covers and stay in bed all day. But with all the great people we have in our lives, we know that things will get better. Its hard when someone you trust and care for hurts you, but I promise it will get better. It may time some time, but it always gets better.

C said...

Such a true post.. I try to stay upbeat on my blog, but every now and then, I just let it out. Don't be afraid to let us see you upset. You're human honey, it happens. Besides, I'm sure you'll get great encouragement here. ;)

Carol said...

I totally know how you feel, and I hope that everything works out. We're totally here for encouragement for you!

Mrs. Potts said...

I'm so sorry that someone lied to you. I hate that feeling when you realize it.

Tara Gibson said...

girl im sorry this person lied to you! I hate that for you!

Believe me, my life isnt perfect, but i try to keep anything negative off my blog even though sometimes i wish i could just pour my heart out.

hang in there girl! You are a fabulous lady!:)

Lil' Woman said...

Ugh, I hate when people lie..it makes it so much worse than if they were to tell the truth. Once someone starts lying you start questioning what else they are not telling the truth about.

And I know how you feel with the blog. I try to keep it upbeat but when shit hits the fan I need to get it out somewhere and your going to hear about my horrible day tomorrow..it was soo bad.

Sonja said...

Thanks for love :)

I couldn't agree more with this post. I felt like I kept saying "mhmm" in my head the entire time I was reading. lol

It does seem that way about everyone I follow, it's almost refreshing when they post something not peppy. lol But I also know that (hopefully) noone judges anything we share...so far we've all been there for each other & I think that's amazing especially when we don't know each other IRL.

We all have our days :) & I hope things have gotten better for you since you posted this! :)

xoxo

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